The Mental Shrinking Phenomenon: Why We Pull Back Just Before We Grow

Have you ever stood on the edge of a massive opportunity—something you prayed for, fasted for, and worked toward only to feel a sudden, overwhelming urge to retreat?

The contract is ready to sign, but your hand hesitates. The stage is set, but you want to hide in the wings. The relationship is healthy, but you feel the urge to run.

I call this The Mental Shrinking Phenomenon.

It is a paradoxical moment where your vision expands, but your mind tries to contract. It is the instinct to play small right when life is demanding that you play big.

I have seen this in every facet of life, from individuals to corporate executives. I have seen it in mentorship sessions with brilliant young leaders. And, if I am being completely honest with you, I have felt it in my own quiet moments before every major leap in my life.

If you are feeling this today, I want you to know: nothing has gone wrong. In fact, everything is going right.

The Anatomy of Shrinking

The sensation is visceral. It doesn't feel like "strategy" or "caution"; it feels like panic wrapped in logic.

You might feel a sudden wave of Impostor Syndrome. You might convince yourself that "now isn't the right time," or that you need "just one more certification" before you launch. You might start nitpicking the opportunity until you find a reason to say no.

We tell ourselves this is prudence. We tell ourselves we are being humble. But often, this is not humility; it is a defence mechanism.

Biologically and psychologically, your brain is wired for safety, not success. When you face the unknown, the amygdala (the fear centre of the brain) lights up. To your ancient brain, the risk of a new career or a bold public stance feels the same as the risk of a predator in the bushes.

So, what do we do? We shrink.

• We minimise our voice to avoid criticism.

• We apologise for taking up space.

• We dim our light to avoid blinding those who are used to the dark.

The Paradox of Pressure

Here is the truth I want you to sit with today: The shrinking is actually a symptom of readiness.

Think of a seed planted in the soil. Before it breaks through the ground to become a tree, it must first break through its own shell. That process involves pressure. If the seed had a voice, it might scream, "I am being crushed!" But it isn't being crushed; it is being transformed.

You are not shrinking because you are weak. You are feeling the pressure of the shell breaking because you are about to expand.

Growth requires the disruption of your current comfort. If you didn't have the capacity for more, you wouldn't feel the tension of your current limitations. The fear you feel is simply the friction between who you were and who you are becoming.

How to Overcome the Shrink

Knowing this is happening is half the battle. But how do you stop the retreat and start the advance? Here are three practical steps to handle the Mental Shrinking Phenomenon:

1. Name It

We cannot defeat what we refuse to define. When the urge to hide comes, pause. Take a deep breath. Do not spiral into self-judgment. Instead, speak to yourself:

"I am not incompetent. I am not an impostor. I am simply feeling the urge to shrink because I am entering new territory."

When you label the fear, you strip it of its power to control you.

2. Reframe It

Physiologically, anxiety and excitement look almost identical in the body—elevated heart rate, butterflies in the stomach, heightened focus. The only difference is the narrative your mind tells you.

Stop calling it "fear." Start calling it "excitement without breath." Tell yourself, "My body is energizing me for what is next."

3. Step Into It (Do It Shaking)

This is the most critical step. We often wait for the fear to vanish before we act. We want courage to feel like calm. But courage is not the absence of the shrinking feeling; courage is acting despite it.

Send the email while your hands are shaking. Walk onto the stage while your knees are knocking. Make the investment while your stomach is turning.

Action is the antidote to shrinking. The moment you take the step, the mind realizes you are safe, and the shrinking stops.

On a final thought

Do not let the temporary comfort of shrinking rob you—and the world—of the permanent joy of becoming who you were created to be.

The world does not need a watered-down version of you. It needs the full version. Your family, your community, and your industry are waiting for the you that refuses to shrink.

Expand.

Reflect on this question today:

In what area of your life are you currently "shrinking" to make others (or yourself) comfortable? Identify it, and take one small step forward today.

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